Blind Spots and Strengths Gone Awry

Oops, I did it again. I came off as arrogant. Now, I’ve been called arrogant 4 times during my professional journey.

Each time it hurt my heart. Because I don’t mean to be perceived that way. Ever. Full stop.

Arrogance is the flip side of my self-confidence strength. And when I show up as overly self-confident in the eyes of others, they can see me as arrogant. This used to be (and sometimes still is) a blind spot for me.

The missing piece is that in most cases I am using my self-confidence strength with positive intent — I want to help. I want to cheerlead. I want to make sure someone else sees their own greatness.

But that doesn’t always work. And now that I am more self-aware of the strengths I can overdo (perseverance is another one — boy can I look stubborn sometimes), I can see and feel it happening. And most of the time I can dial it back and save myself.

But not always. Ahh, still a work in progress.

What strengths do you tend to overdo? And are they limiting your effectiveness when you don’t realize how they’re affecting others?

Think about it. And if you need help uncovering your overdone strengths, reach out. I’ve got a terrific assessment that shines the light on them for you — so you can better manage perceptions in the future.

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You Hold the Pen

Leadership is a journey. It’s not something that happens overnight — and there’s no “right way” to create a leadership style that is effective and that feels authentic.

Every personal leadership journey is a vibrant thread, weaving its unique story. Regardless of where you find yourself in your journey, remember this fundamental truth: you hold the pen to your story.

Every challenge you faced, every triumph you celebrated — they are all part of your unique narrative. Acknowledge your journey, with all its ups and downs. Your experiences have shaped your perspectives, giving you the wisdom to lead with empathy and understanding.

Your personal journey is unique, and that authenticity is your greatest asset. Authentic leaders inspire trust and loyalty. When you embrace your personal story, including its vulnerabilities and successes, you connect with others on a deeper level. Your authenticity becomes a beacon, guiding others to embrace their journeys too. Remember, true leadership is not about being flawless; it’s about being genuine.

And finally, remember that your journey is a constant narrative that continues to unfold. Embrace it. And don’t forget that you hold the pen.

Wield it with intention. Write the next chapter of your story with courage, and share it with others. It will empower them to embrace their journeys fearlessly.

That’s a true gift.

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Trust Your Gut

Your gut isn’t some mystical place that provides insights that appear out of thin air. The feelings you get when your gut is talking to you are the product of your intuition. And intuition is a skill honed through experience and self-awareness.

Think about it. Heaps of data and copious analyses don’t always give us the answer. The best course of action isn’t always black and white — it often lies in that uncomfortable gray area that leaders and teams sometimes try to avoid. That discomfort often makes people suppress their gut instincts too much.

That’s a shame, because the top leaders I know often state their intuitive prowess as a key to success. After years of facing diverse challenges and learning from both successes and failures, they’ve let each experience become a building block — enhancing their ability to read situations, anticipate outcomes, and trust their judgment.

Is your gut always right? No. Can it help in decision making? You bet. The key is learning how to use its power wisely.

Want to dive deeper into instincts and intuition? Check out this article on Psychology Today for some more details on what’s really going on in that gut of yours.

My gut is telling me it’s time to stop letting my introverted side create content and force myself to get out there are talk to people that I can help! I think I need to listen.

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Chasing Success

How do you define success?

  • Attaining wealth, status, or fame? 
  • Meeting that high bar you’ve set for yourself, or that someone else has set for you?
  • Reaching a specific goal or milestone?

No matter how you define it, consider this:

If you’re pursuing success instead of what makes you feel successful, you’re on your way to burnout. 

Take a moment today to think about what makes you feel successful. 

Chase that. 

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Blind Spots and Strengths Gone Awry

Oops, I did it again. I came off as arrogant. Now, I’ve been called arrogant 4 times during my professional journey.

Each time it hurt my heart. Because I don’t mean to be perceived that way. Ever. Full stop.

Arrogance is the flip side of my self-confidence strength. And when I show up as overly self-confident in the eyes of others, they can see me as arrogant. This used to be (and sometimes still is) a blind spot for me.

The missing piece is that in most cases I am using my self-confidence strength with positive intent — I want to help. I want to cheerlead. I want to make sure someone else sees their own greatness.

But that doesn’t always work. And now that I am more self-aware of the strengths I can overdo (perseverance is another one — boy can I look stubborn sometimes), I can see and feel it happening. And most of the time I can dial it back and save myself.

But not always. Ahh, still a work in progress.

What strengths do you tend to overdo? And are they limiting your effectiveness when you don’t realize how they’re affecting others?

Think about it. And if you need help uncovering your overdone strengths, reach out. I’ve got a terrific assessment that shines the light on them for you — so you can better manage perceptions in the future.

Share…

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Check In On Yourself

Leaders are no good for their people if they’re exhausted, overstressed, or burned out.

One of the best things you can do for your team is to make sure you’re taking care of you — your body and your mind. You can’t be effective if you’re always running on empty.

  • Be mindful of your physical and emotional health. Pay attention to how you’re feeling, and take steps to address any areas of concern. This could include getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, exercising regularly, and managing stress.
  • Set boundaries. It’s important to set boundaries between your work life and your personal life. This means saying no to requests that are unreasonable or that will take away from your personal time. It also means protecting your time for activities that you enjoy and that help you relax and de-stress.
  • Delegate tasks. Don’t try to do everything yourself. Delegate tasks to others whenever possible so that you can free up some of your time for self-care.
  • Take breaks. It’s important to take breaks throughout the day, even if it’s just for a few minutes. Get up and move around, step outside for some fresh air, or close your eyes and take a few deep breaths.
  • Do things you enjoy. Make time for activities that make you happy. This could be anything from reading a book to spending time with loved ones to taking a walk in nature. For me, a drive in my roadster with the top down (and lately with music by Kygo blasting into the open air) does the trick. Beep beep!
  • Seek support. If you’re struggling to take care of yourself, don’t be afraid to seek support from others. Talk to a friend, family member, therapist, or other trusted person. 

Oh, and remember that asking for help from a trusted advisor, friend, or professional is a sign of strength, not weakness. Never let anyone make you feel otherwise.

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Does Public Speaking Make You Anxious?

If so, you’re not alone. In fact, a fear of public speaking affects anywhere from 40 to 75 percent of the population, depending on what studies you look at. There’s even a medical term for it: glossophobia.

Here are some tips that will help:

  • Don’t try to be perfect. The fear of public speaking often stems from a fear of imperfection. The fact is that no one ever gets it 100 percent right every time, and neither will you. And that’s okay.
  • Know your stuff. The more prepared you are when it comes to the topic of your presentation, the more confident you will feel. Don’t forget to also consider (and practice answering) the questions you’ll likely get from your audience.
  • Use your audience to your advantage. When you can get your audience involved in your presentation, it’s much easier for you to deliver and much more engaging for them. Win-win.
  • Practice until you’re sick of practicing. And do it out loud! Recruit colleagues to give you feedback on your presentation. You can also record yourself giving the presentation and watch it back. I do this with every speech or workshop I create.

And finally, remember that being nervous is actually a good thing. How so?

Well, it means you care — about your audience and about your topic.

That’s good stuff.

Want some more tips? Send me a note through Comvia Group’s contact page and ask me for my favorite breathing exercises for settling nerves and preparing to speak. I’ll send them to you.

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Communication Tip: Yes, and…

Workshop and Team-building Fun!

Many of my clients and friends know that I wanted to be an actor when I grew up.

I actually did a lot of theatre in my younger days, and even have a bachelor’s degree (and teaching certification) in Speech & Theatre Arts.

One of my favorite principles from my training in improvisational theater, or improv for short, is “Yes, and…”

It means saying yes to what your scene partner offers, and then building on it. 

I actually teach improv to clients to this day — in fact I do a whole workshop on it! Why?

Getting good at it helps leaders:

  • Think on their feet and respond to unexpected challenges
  • Build trust and rapport with team members and other stakeholders
  • Listen actively and respond thoughtfully
  • Be open to new ideas and unexpected twists
  • Communicate more effectively in both formal and informal settings
  • Be more creative and innovative in problem-solving

It’s a fun program that is both educational and team building in nature. No prior experience with improvisation is necessary. And participants should come ready to step outside of their comfort zones — and have fun!

Want to offer a program like this to people on your team? Let’s talk.

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Before You Cancel That Meeting…

Your time is valuable. So is the time of the people you lead. That’s why it’s so important to keep your commitments. A big mistake I see leaders make often is breaking commitments with a simple act: cancelling meetings at the last minute.

What does doing so say? One clear message is that you don’t value the time of the people who were expecting to meet with you.

The result? Let’s name a few: frustration, feelings of disrespect, damage to the trust you have with them….

Not good.

Here are some tips.

  • Don’t overcommit. Be mindful of your calendar. Before agreeing to a meeting, make sure that you actually have the time available.
  • Plan time for the unexpected. Every new day brings new opportunities for the unexpected. Be sure you hold time on your calendar for those events, so you don’t need to cancel meetings to address them.
  • Communicate early if you know that you might not be able to make a meeting. This will give the other person a chance to reschedule or find a backup.
  • Be apologetic if you do have to cancel a meeting. There are times when cancelling is truly unavoidable. When that happens, explain the reason for the cancellation and apologize for any inconvenience.

Show your people that you are reliable, and that you value their time by keeping your commitments to meetings. Start and end them on time, too. Doing so will help you build stronger relationships with your team and create a more trusting and productive environment.

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Persevere or Let Go?

As a business leader, entrepreneur, and human being I’ve had my share of failures.

When I think back on the massive pile of ideas that I’ve tried to turn into businesses over the years, I’m surprised I’ve only failed a few times instead of hundreds. 

The lessons I learned by failing, even though it may have stung pretty badly each time, are lessons I never would have learned if I had never tried. But the biggest lesson has been learning to understand when it’s time to pivot, or even let go.

Failure is part of the road to success: for you, for your team, and for your family. Be flexible when you need to find another path. Be open to a new perspective. And most importantly, be honest with yourself when something is simply not working.

Think about this when you lead or manage your team. How can you make a change that will increase the likelihood of success? What can you let go of that’s holding you back? What can you do to help yourself, and others, get off the path to a truly epic fail?

And remember — when failure happens, how you coach your team through the aftermath can make all the difference.

Henry Ford once said, “The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.” When you can, help your people learn from their failures. And when there is no silver lining or learning, help them put it all behind them and move on.

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